# Admission to medical treatment



## Polyatomic (Feb 28, 2019)

Dear FreeBSD community. I have to write  something  discourteous.  I have  the  displeasure to  be  admitted  to
an medical facility for Narcotic analgesic detox. It has been several  days  of  sobriety  and  no  longer  occupy  my thoughts with opiates.

  My acquaintance with this community began so pleasantly, I wish to contribute once I am feeling  better.  I  fear that the community will not agree to this ; indeed I know you may not since the FreeBSD  community  have  been good enough to welcome me here. It is only an instinct on my part, and no doubt the instinct is wrong.

yours truly Polyatomic


----------



## Phishfry (Feb 28, 2019)

Well getting help is unpleasant but necessary.

I have a lifelong friend who will not own up to his problem and he used to be the best machinist I knew.
He now lives in a trailer park and is a shell of himself. He is frail, his face weathered, just looks advanced in age for early fifty's.
As a friend there is only so much you can do. He has his water turned off and has to shower at friends.
Truly pathetic and really sad. His girlfriend is the enabler and the worse thing to happen to him.
How such a good machinist with phenomenal MasterCam skills could not work for years is just beyond my comprehension.
He is not lazy. Just in a bad spot.
Hard to make excuses for such a good friend.

Get Well Polyatomic
Admiting the problem is half the battle. The other half is fixing it.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Feb 28, 2019)

Premium principled poster Polyatomic, pray pull through peacefully without perturbation and perk up posthaste to pick up posting as previous with no permutation in plans.


----------



## Crivens (Feb 28, 2019)

Why should we think less of someone who does the right and needed thing, even if unpleasant? Take your time, and try your best to stay clear.


----------



## Vull (Feb 28, 2019)

Good luck with your recovery and hang in there.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 1, 2019)

I have strong opinions on this and could offend people on either side without trying under normal circumstances so will keep them to myself at this point. 

I'd argue this issue but my words are currently at weapons-grade wicked in response to a plan with the stated goal of exorcising me to end my possession of this apartment and be resigned to live out my days in a cardboard box. 

He plans to use his Superior Intellect, perceived mastery of Innuendo and skill at inferred threats to overcome me with wit in a battle of words and their use to defeat me.


polyatomic feel free to PM me in the future if you need to talk.


----------



## Polyatomic (Mar 1, 2019)

Crivens said:
			
		

> Why should we think less of someone   who  does  the  right  and  needed  thing,  even if   unpleasant?


Do you mean I have been gauche?-- Oh, I think I have got it -- inexperience. I am no bettter than   other
members yet I presume to advice them. Of coarse I still have everything to learn - absolutely everything.


			
				Crivens said:
			
		

> Take your time, and try your best to stay clear.


Awfully kind of you Crivens and the FreeBSD members to post support.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 1, 2019)

Polyatomic said:


> Do you mean I have been gauche?-- Oh, I think I have got it -- inexperience. I am no bettter than other members yet I presume to advice them. Of coarse I still have everything to learn - absolutely everything.



I believe you misunderstood what Crivens meant. He was defending your action to seek treatment. For example, there is no shame in seeking help for mental illness, the shame is not getting the help you need when it is available.

As for being gauche, your style of speech in posting is admirable and the only example I've seen here that rivals my magniloquent majesty in manipulating mundane messages.

Rest easy without distraction knowing I will intercede on your behalf during your absence as acting advocate to argue any allegations against your choice or character as though aimed at me. So concentrate on yourself and rest assured you can recuperate and return refreshed with your character intact and head held high. Or I'm not the Red Devil's Advocate and he has never advised me personally.

I will also field any general questions about addiction or treatment options within my ability.

If you think it a character flaw say so without hesitation or fear of reprisal with normal debate and presentation of facts entered into evidence. I'm the guy to ask and argued this issue many times over the years and familiar with the facts. Polyatomic has a long road ahead of him with limited chance of success the expected norm the first time around and not feeling well. Please allow me to act in his behalf in this time of need.

If you want to see what the life of a real junkie looks like watch the youtube video of A Day in the Death of Donnie B.


My best friend was on Methadone for pain management and confined to a wheelchair due to traffic accident the last 20 years of his life. I stopped by his house to see him a while and he had nodded off when I left and everything was cool. The next day his mom called me at 10 am to tell me he was dead.

He had a guy who stayed with him as his helper and he said my Friend was sitting at the breakfast table so he went for a walk around the block, came back 15 minutes later and he was still sitting at the table but dead. He was also prescribed Xanax and together they suppressed his breathing reaction and he just nodded off while sitting there, stopped breathing and died in relative peace. His name happened to be Donnie B, too..

I can't say off the top of my head how many of my friends or associates died from drug overdose, too many to remember without counting. Only that all the people who were my close friends are dead. I learned I could get by on my own even when the odds were stacked against me. I'm still alive and alone with only memories of the life I lived and the people I miss in it thought of often.

I have story after story along the same lines that are common in a lifestyle markedly different than that of most Professionals through addiction crosses all barriers and no family is immune. I understand how that may leave questions in some people minds and that is perfectly acceptable.

I lived that life and have a story of my own about being shot with a shotgun while hunting at the age of 13. I was in the hospital 2.5 months and prescribed Demerol for pain every 4 hours. By 2.5 months I was medically addicted and had to kick cold turkey before I got out but never forgot the powerful feeling of euphoria it brought. When I got out of the hospital the first thing I did was look for it and the next 40 years of my life in that lifestyle.

I haven't drank since 1996 and got off opiates 2 years ago with no desire to use again. The people around me were dieing one by one and I was doing to same exact thing they were. It did not take Genius to figure out I was next if I didn't do something to break the cycle and what I did. I was prescribed Suboxone and that gave me time to get my life together, break old habits and ties. 

I did the work I needed to do and once I felt ready tapered myself off it and considered a success story. It took 10 years of being on Suboxone and it is intended to flood opiate receptors so you don't feel the urge to use opiates and it doesn't have the opiate feeling or effects of Methadone. I did it with willpower and Suboxone without any need cults like AA or NA 12 Step Programs a part of my recovery.

I have it better now than I ever did and quite happy with my life as it is now. Throw shade at me if you got it, but be brutally honest doing it if you want my respect. I won't cry or be offended and able to respond with a lifetime of experience to back it up with facts.

I stated I came from a different lifestyle, just not how different my life has been. I worked in an iron foundry but was paid well for skills I possess that made me valuable accompaniment to certain people and usually driving my only duty. I just had to be present and made money sitting if I sat 6 hours with unlimited fringe benefits a bonus. No taxes were withheld.

Yet there I am rubbing elbows with Titans of Technology after working my way here. Any dirt on your shirt will wash off. Mine is a permanent mark left by things I've seen and done in life makes me who I am.  drhowarddrfine has a folder on me with personal info I provided intended to further shock and surprise once I transcend this veil of tears and take my place beside Demonica.


That's the world I grew up in not only to survive it excel and but thrive in it. I'm high on the food chain with few predators who see me as potential prey and none left alive are my peer mentally. Not one person I know uses Linux, able to run my laptops or learn to. You may not see me as your peer but I consider you guys my only peers. I know I'm prone to rant and ramble but nobody else would understand a word I said.

Any dreams of me living in a cardboard box were destroyed in the first 5 days of declaring War on me by my using his own words against him with Skill and Laser Precision guided to the right Ear in Authority to hear it and act accordingly. He looked like a broken man and tried to wave at me but avoided my gaze like Medusa. He may only now realize what he started.


----------



## drhowarddrfine (Mar 1, 2019)

Trihexagonal said:


> @drhowarddrfine has a folder on me with personal info I provided intended to further shock and surprise once I transcend this veil of tears and take my place beside Demonica.


Watch for the book and the soon after released film starring Daniel Day Lewis as Trihexagonal and Miley Cyrus as herself.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 1, 2019)

The Honorable drhowardfine is the only one I have ever trusted enough to divulge that information to. I hope you get part of the box office receipts.

I'll show you what I looked like in all my glory and peak physical fitness from training during the 80's.

I was much bulkier when I worked at the foundry but that was in the 70's.


----------



## ralphbsz (Mar 2, 2019)

Good luck!  There is a light at the end of that tunnel, and it's not an oncoming train.


----------



## scottro (Mar 2, 2019)

As someone who went to a rehab in my teens (I'm now in my 60's), I admire you for posting here, and think it's quite possible that it may, either now or in the future, inspire someone to at least think about getting help. The best of luck to you, and congratulations on being honest enough with yourself to get treatment. I'm also going to say, even if you don't succeed this time, there's always next time--shucks, I tried to stop smoking literally dozens of times, before I succeeded.


----------



## Polyatomic (Mar 3, 2019)

Dear FreeBSD biome, my departure from the treatment center has arrived. The doctors and nurses provided me with steady unselfishness, they are the happiest and jolliest specialists you can imagine.

  In all honesty I am still seized by momentary sourness, it is a tiresome business. I am slowly learning to manage it.

Correct noble members,
Phishfry, Trihexagonal, Crivens, Vull
drhowarddrfine, ralphbsz,  scottro
you have been awfully kind with your time posting here and I am more thankful than I can say.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 3, 2019)

It's different and they know their program inside out. It is Programming as I know it with each step lined out with catchy catchphrases for every occasion. to go with it. I grew to hate the Big Book. Treatment never helped me but I was at home in a clinical environment and  a vacation for me.

After a couple weeks I would start to feel better and  become contentious to sabotage my own treatment and leave. It was only a matter of time till I started drinking or whatever I went there for. But that's what happened every time. I knew it would, even told them in advance what would happen and they told me about what I had said it when it did.

AA and NA have without a doubt helped a lot of people and continues to. I knew people who were fully programmed and did not miss a day going to meetings. (That's the Program reinforcing itself by you attending daily.) I was a Programmer so I saw it for what it was and just too smart for my own good. The addict in you will want to go back to using as self-destruction not an issue for addicts.

You always have the option to suffer till it hurts bad enough you get it together. To continue to live life as we both  know it can be and if you're lucky as me never get arrested and have to spend the next few years in a cage like an animal among animals. You can learn some new skills in Criminal College and only a few of my friends weren't Alumni. Or maybe you'll die young and get it over without a full life of it. Suicide not an option for me. You never know what can happen and every day an adventure that might end badly.

Don't lose sight of what drove you to make such a wise decision to go into treatment. The Program is your best bet to stay clean and adds structure to your life. If it was easy everybody would do it. It has time on its side and will be there patiently waiting for a moment of weakness to let you convince yourself to use. It will be with you a long time but finally went away for me and I never think about opiates. It took 20 years before I stopped thinking about drinking and a bar sits on ever corner.

Take my word for it. Life is much better for me now and can be for you. All my friends dieing got my mind right. It took Death all around me till I was the only one left and it was staring me in the face before I had enough. Nobody could fix me but myself. I have it better now than I ever have and live comfortably in a modest lifestyle where I can relax at peace with myself.

Miley kisses Daniel with the setting Sun as background and... cut! That's a wrap. people!


----------



## Crivens (Mar 3, 2019)

I got some addictive behavior of mine under control in my past, and now I don't need to avoid them but can control it. I still like _some_ danger, but I know where adrenalin   addiction will get you (on a slab). Same for drinking, or smoking. It was the cold rage of being controlled against my will that I did pen against it. Who is the boss in my own head? Me or some stupid stuff? 

Control is better than avoidance, but one might need to avoid while learning control. And you will need a positive goal. I still remember my granddad when he build stuff for us, played with us... want to make the same face one day. Same face my dad made when he first picked up his grandson. We do things for others which we would never do for us. So do it for your kids, and their kids. It can be done, it is only stupid stuff.


----------



## fernandel (Mar 3, 2019)

Yes, I agree with Crivens. Everything is in the head. I was a cigarets smoker. I thing it is about 25 or something years when I stopped. Almost two boxes a day and if we had a party it was more. But I had enough and I decided to quit. One day I said not more and from the next day I didn't put any cigaret in my mouth but I didn't change my life style. I am also drinking (social drinker) wine all my life ) and I've been drunk too but who is the boss??
I am so happy and I am proud of Polyatomic decission.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 3, 2019)

Crivens said:


> I got some addictive behavior of mine under control in my past, and now I don't need to avoid them but can control it.



He's right. I have no interest in hanging in bars and if you think you can go where the ignorant oil flows. drink a Pepsi and not partake you're setting yourself up for failure in a classic manner. I hate being around drunks now and don't know how people ever stood being around me. Substitute substance of choice and it's still the same.

Alcohol can be bought anywhere and easier than opiates. I would have to hunt and right now have no idea where I'd look because I cut those people out of my life. I can walk to the corner and buy liquor anytime I feel like it.

The 20th Anniversary was a crisis point for me and almost drank, but forgot why I went to the gas station. I bought cigars and didn't realize I had forgotten to get what I went for till I was walking home. I'm past that now but it can creep up on you.




Crivens said:


> Who is the boss in my own head? Me or some stupid stuff?



It doesn't get much more stupid than following a plan like I laid out about telling other people in treatment what would take place in advance. I knew it was going to happen from past experience and I would find myself either picking a point to argue with staff, blow up about something and leave or some such self-induced nonsense. That was my mind working against me and I can be my own worst enemy.

That inner planning still happens from time to time. I know when that deeper part of me kicks in and the goal. It's not a defect, illness, schism, glitch, disorder or curse. It's a blessing known as Xanatos Speed Chess. When I helped pet that was Xanatos Speed Chess and posted the song Pet earlier that day as part of it. The first 5 words are "Don't fret precious I'm here" and used the lyrics as an outline against pet having been thrown under the bus.

I had more working against me than the Addict. I had my own mind full of behavior related manipulative techniques and dialog working against myself as well. It was the logic in stopping after everybody else had died, not fear of Death, and it would take a conscious decision to drink.

Your mind can work against you like you can't imagine and right and wrong not be a factor in doing something. You know it would be wrong to use substances again but your mind will make every excuse possible to convince you it's the thing to do. Just one last time wouldn't hurt and you can stop.

Yeah, that's the ticket...


----------



## meine (Mar 3, 2019)

Polyatomic said:


> Dear FreeBSD community. I have to write  something  discourteous.



Well Polyatomic, I think it is very brave of you to tell us here --- IMHO that is the opposite of being 'discourtious'. As you can see (hopefully you will, are able to) the reactions here are heartwarming and compassionate. Instincts of rejection indeed can be confusing and the anxiety that comes with it can disorientate you. From your reaction I see that you have a clear view of where you are. Posting your story here is a sign that your /boot/login.conf just works fine, the rest of the tweaking will come step by step.

So don't worry, take your time, get well, and be back when time is right. There is a time to contribute and a time just to be there while others run the forum ;-)


----------



## hitest (Mar 7, 2019)

Polyatomic said:


> Dear FreeBSD community. I have to write  something  discourteous.  I have  the  displeasure to  be  admitted  to
> an medical facility for Narcotic analgesic detox. It has been several  days  of  sobriety  and  no  longer  occupy  my thoughts with opiates.



Congratulations on your decision to get clean, mate!  Make sure that you hang around with other people in the recovery community.  Your sobriety will be fantastic!  I am a recovering alcoholic.  My sobriety date is May 23, 2015


----------



## Polyatomic (Mar 8, 2019)

hitest said:
			
		

> May 23, 2015



Presently I write this short letter to send modified thanks to you. You're doing yourself proud, Mr hitest. I have seventeen (a jolly prime number it is) days abstinent today. Reflecting over this time, I willingly admit that I am a muddle of a man, and can only manage mechanical cheerfulness at this time.

'I dare say, part of the good man's equipment will make an appearance after several weeks of jogging on fairly well'.


----------



## Crivens (Mar 8, 2019)

You know there are infinite prime numbers. Go see them all, or at least try.

Wish you all the best.


----------



## Vull (Mar 8, 2019)

> ... on high good things and bad lie on the knees of Gods Unnumbered, indistinguishably blent. These no Immortal seeth; they are veiled in mystic cloud-folds. Only Fate puts forth her hands thereto, nor looks at what she takes, but casts them from Olympus down to earth. This way and that they are wafted, as it were by gusts of wind. The good man oft is whelmed in suffering: wealth undeserved is heaped on the vile person. Blind is each man's life; therefore he never walketh surely; oft he stumbleth: ever devious is his path, now sloping down to sorrow, mounting now to bliss. All-happy is no living man from the beginning to the end, but still the good and evil clash. Our life is short; beseems not then in grief to live. Hope on, still hope for better days: chain not to woe thine heart.
> 
> ~ Quintus Smyrnaeus, The Fall of Troy 7


----------



## hitest (Mar 9, 2019)

Polyatomic said:


> . I have seventeen (a jolly prime number it is) days abstinent today.



Well done, my friend!  17 days means that you have successfully undergone detoxification, that is, all drugs are now gone from your system.  One day at a time.  I suggest that you surround yourself with people in your local recovery community.  Together we can overcome addiction.


----------



## ProphetOfDoom (Mar 21, 2019)

I think the whole abuse/rehab narrative WRT opiates is reductionist and anti-intellectual. If we didn't have opium the world would be culturally poorer as well as more physically painful. Consider the poem "Kubla Khan" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge amongst other artworks.
Having said that I think coming off opiates is a heroic achievement so I'm not in any way downplaying or disrespecting anyone's successes against this vice.


----------



## hitest (Mar 21, 2019)

AlexanderProphet said:


> I think the whole abuse/rehab narrative WRT opiates is reductionist and anti-intellectual.



Interesting point of view.  I'm not sure I know what you mean.  Could you please clarify what you mean?


----------



## Crivens (Mar 21, 2019)

Well, there is still this debate if a civilisation is even possible without drugs, but that should not lead to disagreement what is use/abuse/addiction. Overcoming addiction is a triumph over one of the hardest enemies there is - yourself on a bad day.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 22, 2019)

An Opioid Crisis has been declared here. According to the CDC, on average 130 Americans die every day from an opioid overdose.


----------



## ralphbsz (Mar 22, 2019)

Crivens said:


> Well, there is still this debate if a civilisation is even possible without drugs, ...


I remember learning that there is only one human culture that doesn't use any psychoactive substances: the inuit or eskimo in northernmost Alaska or Siberia.  That's because there are absolutely no plants where they live, they survive solely on animal products (mostly from the sea), and animals just don't lend themselves to fermenting for alcohol, smoking like a weed, or such things.

Not sure this is correct ... I'm not a cultural anthropologist, and even less a pharmacologist.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 22, 2019)

Crivens said:


> Well, there is still this debate if a civilisation is even possible without drugs, but that should not lead to disagreement what is use/abuse/addiction.



Some people who have been prescribed narcotics for back pain or similar affliction make the distinction between Dependency and Addiction and become highly offended if you refer to them as an Addict. 

The withdrawal symptoms they would go through are the same as someone who had been buying them off the street. I've pushed all those buttons when they got uppity about it.


ralphbsz, check out the movie Eskimo if you ever get the chance to see how the white man corrupted them.


----------



## drhowarddrfine (Mar 22, 2019)

This is one thing I just don't get. How did all this come about? You can't blame the patient. He only took what his doctor gave him. So why didn't the doctor monitor this? Where was the pharmacy in all this? I'm pretty sure my doctor would put the brakes on if I was getting hooked and not over prescribe such things. I had a prescription recently for something far less nasty than opioids and the pharmacy blocked the number of pills my doctor prescribed so what's the deal?


----------



## sidetone (Mar 22, 2019)

There were doctors who pushed opium based medication for profits. But there were also doctors who tried to prevent patients from getting hooked who were getting grief from patients who wanted pain relief. In the latter case, I don't blame doctors.

Patients are meant to use pain relievers enough to get rid of intolerable pain, but not to completely get rid of discomfort. If possible, pain should be relieved by minimizing physical pressure on what is hurt.


----------



## Crivens (Mar 22, 2019)

drhowarddrfine
It is simply a business case for the manufacturers. They even had the thing planned by consulting agencies (finding morale there is like finding Elvis raiding your fridge at night. Not gonna happen) - including how to counter bad press from parents whose children had overdosed.
It happens when someone values his/hers bank account more than life, health and well being of his fellow creatures.

So keep the doctors and pharmacy who don't play that game close to you.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 22, 2019)

Udated Lawsuit Teases New Details Against OxyContin Maker

"An updated complaint in Massachusetts' lawsuit against Purdue Pharma claims members of the family that owns the OxyContin maker are personally responsible for fueling abuse of the deadly painkiller.

The filing late Friday in Suffolk Superior Court expands on the lawsuit the state filed in June against the drugmaker, 16 current and former executives and members of the Sackler family, which owns the company.

The suit asserts that over the past decade the Sacklers controlled a deceptive sales campaign by Purdue aimed at getting more people on higher doses of opioids to boost profits.

Much of the specifics on the allegations against Purdue Pharma executives and Sackler family members are blacked out while the state works to release a less-redacted complaint.

The state claims that the Sacklers directed the company to hire hundreds more sales representatives to visit doctors "thousands more times," in a bid to get more doctors to prescribe its painkiller. The Sacklers also directed sales representatives to encourage doctors to prescribe more of the opioids at the highest doses, according to the complaint.

In addition, the suit contends, the Sacklers "studied unlawful tactics to keep patients on opioids longer and then ordered staff to use them.""



Rumor had it that Doctors who were prescribing Suboxone were getting kickbacks from Big Pharma so I asked mine about it. He said if anybody was getting cruises or amenities for prescribing Suboxone it was news to him. We had a good relationship so I felt comfortable asking and believe at least he wasn't getting kickbacks. They prescribe that in large doses, 32MG a day the max as that is it's "ceiling" and beyond that no more effective.

He started me off on 8MG and I could tell within a few days that was more than I needed. I cut myself down to 2MG and he said I knew best. I finally tapered myself off completely. I had an easy time of it because I did it very slowly and always stayed at a low dose. Check out forums where people on high doses post about the hard time they have coming off it.

You have people who go doctor shopping and might be getting scripts from more than one doctor. Maybe that doctor will prescribe a girl something if he gets to do a breast exam. Pill Mills where Pharmacies fill more scripts than the town it's located in has residents.

Then there are people who really need pain meds. The Ideology has changed somewhat and they're more into alternatives to meds now, especially since the media is coming down on them. And it's not just Opiates, Benzodiazepines are much harder to come off of than Opiates. See the old TV movie "I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can" for a picture of someone strung out on Valium.


----------



## fernandel (Mar 22, 2019)

Who is guilty? Not just dosctors and pharmact industry but the most guilty are people which do not or they don't want to do anything for themselves.
The east way: take a pill and problem is solved. It is not!


----------



## drhowarddrfine (Mar 22, 2019)

I can't say I know why but I have one of those doctors that will prescribe me whatever I want. I used to get tensions headaches really bad when I was around 20. My (excellent!) doctor then figured out the problem and prescribed Fiorinal. My days long headaches disappear within 20 minutes.

I no longer get the headaches but I do, on rare occasions, get very tense in certain situations and it makes me feel better knowing I have a bottle of, now, Lorazepam in my medicine cabinet. One bottle of 30 pills lasts me years. I also have another prescription, that I don't think I need, but he gives it to me anyway. I adjust the amount up and down as I see fit. Perhaps that is why he adjusts the prescription cause I intelligently give my reasons for doing so but, over the years, I feel I could ask for anything and he'd give it to me. I tell my wife that I don't know if it's cause he's a bad doctor or he respects me. But it's that last prescription he over-prescribed to me. It can be addictive and my insurance would not pay for the quantity he prescribed. (Note: I do not take these pills on any regular basis either.)

So I can see how one can latch onto a bad doctor but why is it so wide spread? I'll ask again. Where are the pharmacies in this? Why aren't insurance companies involved as in my case? It just doesn't make sense to me. It seems like it should be a criminal investigation.


----------



## Crivens (Mar 22, 2019)

Trihexagonal 
Those responsible in the pharma company might feel lucky they are tried in the good ol' US where you are innocent until proven broke. Think of what judges in China do to such folks, including going to sleep and waking up one part at a time. Remember the baby formula stretching?

drhowarddrfine 
I agree. That should be a criminal investigation. They might draw some specialists in from other departments involved in that war on drugs.

But   how is our OP doing by now? Any news?


----------



## ProphetOfDoom (Mar 22, 2019)

I suppose what I meant was that reducing people to "patients" or "abusers" denies the reality that human beings have always sought to alter their consciousness through various means and the experiences that result are (or can be) incredibly valuable to the individual. It's like taking a bird and clipping its wings.
I'm fascinated by the promise that psychedelics like ketamine could one day be used to treat anxiety and depression. My only concern would be that such drugs can be an entry point into the occult which is obviously undesirable.


----------



## Polyatomic (Mar 23, 2019)

Dearest forum members,

  I beg to tender my apologies for not writing a repartee, but I can only manage a lethargic reply here presently. Today gives 30 +1 days abstinence, however my illness is an intolerable brute and, some symptoms of withdrawal still persist which tires me.

  I hope in time that my care for adventure will return, but in the coming weeks I will remain reticent.

Yours truly, Polyatomic.


----------



## ProphetOfDoom (Mar 23, 2019)

Polyatomic, that's great news. You must have been really hooked. I find warm baths with aromatherapy work well for opiate withdrawal - try that if you haven't already. Aside from that keeping busy and praying if you have a Faith.


----------



## hitest (Mar 23, 2019)

Polyatomic said:


> Today gives 30 +1 days abstinence, however my illness is a intolerable brute and, some symptoms of withdrawal still persist which tires me.



Congratulations, my friend!  The first month of sobriety is the hardest; you've achieved that!  One day at a time we will continue to heal.


----------



## Deleted member 30996 (Mar 23, 2019)

Polyatomic said:


> Today gives 30 +1 days abstinence, however my illness is a intolerable brute and, some symptoms of withdrawal still persist which tires me.



It's good to hear from you. I hope you're doing well and start feeling better. You don't give yourself enough credit. It's not intolerable or you wouldn't have made it 30+1 days. BTW, what is 30+1 days exactly?

Are you still in treatment? People in treatment usually refer to it as X number of days "sobriety". 30 Days is a big deal and they used to give out 30 day keyrings at AA meetings. Are you going to meetings? Outpatient? Idle hands you know...

What opiates were you on? I've done most, some worse than other to come off of. I was usually over physical withdrawals completely in 10 days. Your sense of taste should start becoming more intense. Are you getting any sleep? Warm baths helped me relax and I soaked.

Did they put you on Buprenorphine (Suboxone)? It's what got me clean. I don't care for "sober", sounds like you're going to a funeral. I would not jump from the frying pan into the Methadone clinic inferno. 


I don't mean to quiz you when you don't feel good to begin with, but the devil is in the details. 

If you're home check out the Thomas Recipe for what may some be helpful tips.


----------



## Birdy (Mar 23, 2019)

drhowarddrfine said:


> This is one thing I just don't get. How did all this come about?



The Sackler family, scum MDs, hospitals and med schools.

How many doctors have received payments from opioid makers?


----------



## Crivens (Mar 23, 2019)

Polyatomic
Nice to hear from you again. If you have the chance, get out of the city lights for a night, take a warm sleeping bag and  good glass with you. Look at the milky way and simply marvel at the beauty of the cosmos.

I do that here if I can, as a special treat for me (every some years I find time). On my bucket list is f.e. sitting in a hot spring on iceland, sipping a beer and watching the aurora borealis dance in front of the stars.


----------



## drhowarddrfine (Mar 23, 2019)

I used to own 127 acres of very private, wooded land with a seven acre lake in the Missouri Ozarks. We put a nice mobile home on it deep into the woods. I would go there for three to five days whenever I could--by myself. Would spend the first day doing nothing but sleeping. Second day I'd putter around but not do too much. Third day I'd get on a roll with something. By the fifth day, I'd be read to go home.

The only reason I sold it was because I was the only one who ever went there. My wife was too busy. One son just was not the outdoorsy type. My other son would go there for hunting but only a couple of times a year. So I felt I was wasting it all just on me. I said that if I ever needed to get away, I could rent a cabin or or get a hotel in this same area for less than the mortgage payment on the place.

I've never done that. Selling it was a decision I regret.


----------



## bookwormep (Mar 23, 2019)

Wisdom from someone much wiser than me said:
"If you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (HALT), then Halt!
 These are times when you are likely vulnerable, and 
make poor decisions. Wait for yourself to be restored;
then, make whatever decision needs to be made."


----------

